My son changed the heading of our blog to 20 4 Hour Father and I thought maybe I should talk about that.

I think about both my children often during the day even though they are now grown.  But when they were kids my wife and I often talked about them and what we should or should not do in raising them.  At night, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d think about something they’d done or said and wondered if it might have some unknown meaning.

What I’m talking about is a concern we have for our children that goes beyond the time we spend with them.  It’s thinking about their moods and actions and as much about what they don’t say as what they say.

We can plan things to do with our children by talking to them, but we can also talk to our friends and see what they do with their children and what works or doesn’t work for them.

A number of my friends and I were talking many years ago when our kids were around 7 to 10.   I suggested we take our kids backpacking.  No one was interested, but I took my kids anyway.  I often wondered what those dad’s did with their children.  A radio program I was listening to today had adult children talking about what made their dad’s special, and the consensus what they took time to talk to them.

Taking your kids camping, hiking, fishing, backpacking or anything to get them out of the city for a couple days is a great way to spend time talking with them and getting to know them better.  There are no distractions.  Make sure they leave their cell phones and ipods at home even if they moan a lot.

Baseball games are a great because they are slow and there is plenty of time to talk while nothing much is going on.  I never liked baseball, but had some great times talking to my children during games.  I didn’t play golf, but my son was golfing with friends so I learned to play golf so we could go golfing.  He always beats me. 

There is much that can be said, but I want to end with this.  I once asked my daughter how she knew we loved her and she said, “You went to all my basketball games, plays, tennis matches, and supported me in everything I did.”  I think that says it all.