I wanted to see a picture of Nic and his dad so went on line.  The father looked like I expected and Nic didn’t.  I’m not sure what I expected.  There was a link to A Hip Mom’s Guide, one mom’s thoughts on raising boys, living life, & having fun.  I wrote the following comment.

I just finished reading Beautiful Boy and am half way through Tweak.  I got two things out of these books. I’m not sure why we avoid blaming parents for the problems their children have.  It’s not an all or nothing of course, but if we’re going to take responsibility for good children, then we should take some responsibility for bad one. 

My opinions come come from the authors themselves.  Nic’s dad points out that he should have interceded in Nic’s life when he first saw the sign of drug use.  It’s too late after they’re 18 and an adult.  Parenting is a 24/7 job.  I’m not sure all parents think this way.  I believe that raising a child requires eternal vigilance.

The second thing I got is about growing up too soon.  Nic talks about how he felt he never had a childhood.  When he was in LA with his mom, she was consumed with work and his step-dad is telling him about the women he’s laid.  When he’s at home with his dad, he’s going to parties and they are treating him like an adult.  Nic says, my dad was more like a friend.

We cannot be friends to our children until they are adults.  We must be parents first.  This doesn’t mean that we can’t joke, laugh, and do all kinds of things with them, but we need to also be their parent, their guide through the maze of life.  This means dealing with their anger.  If you’re child has never been angry at you, then you’re not being much of a parent.  It’s a rough job growing up and children need tough love.