So about 9 months ago, I came across the idea of minimalism. I guess this is not really a new idea, well, obviously since minimalism would come before consumerism, but the idea that less is more became not just an idea but part of my identity.  Maybe it was the economic downturn that really put things into perspective for me, having saved judiciously for our entire life to loose the majority of our life savings over 1 year in a bad housing market, was a wake up call. I realized that no matter how safe we think our investments are, whenever we sign a deal with a lender, it is debt, and this is just that, we become servants to the people to whom we owe money. They in turn own a piece of us, they in turn guide our future decisions and in essence a large part of our lives. I always figured I would have the upper hand on this one, I guess this is part of the living and maturing process.

My dealings with our mortgage lender over the past 3 months has been frustrating. I feel this place in my chest that gets all tense even when I think about it. I have worked hard to let a lot of this go, but I think it is a part of my hate for social injustice. It is mind-blowing that Goldman Sachs can make another round of 6 billion dollar payouts to their employees when in places like Santa Cruz county only 66 of 10,000 underwater homes have been qualified for loan modification despite a government mandate on the banks. 

This is an attack on the middle class, as usually families are the ones who purchase homes, and in my experience in knowing so many people who have lost their homes the vast majority have been young families. Now that we see that many of these banks created toxic debts only to sell them to unsuspecting investors with false ratings and then bet against them for profit, it is sickening. I can’t understand why anyone would appose bank regulations, it reminds me a bit of the health care vote I guess. Although I have heard that all our premiums will be going up this year and our services will be getting cut, we have found out that our insurance company no longer covers our childhood vaccinations, should we be surprised? I am not, but then again, when you let private enterprise who’s main goal is profit margin guide health care decisions this is what we should expect.

Anyway, I am not all negative, there are some wonderful things happening all around us as well. Santa Cruz will be opening a Marriott downtown, and they have just instituted a fairly cool pay meter system that allows people to place money into meters downtown for homeless services. People have started to think again about what it means to be a community, and I have began to embrace a new, more simple way of living, that has in many ways brought me back to where I started.

The less is more theory does play out in real life, creating and maintaining a life budget makes you assess what is important in life and has given me new focus on how to achieve my long term goals. I have seen through financial loss that what is important is social gains. Through this time we have been blessed with two beautiful, healthy children. Their every day wonder and curiosity and love and hugs, makes all the other stress dissolve away. I look at my wife who continues to love me unconditionally despite my many flaws, who is such an outstanding mother, and I think man, how did I ever get so lucky? We have had to streamline most of our living in so many ways, at first it was painful, now it is fun. I think this fits my creative side, ever since I was a kid my parents never were ones to go out and buy the newest stuff, I would search the house, the backyard, the garage, anywhere where some hidden old treasure could be and try to make it into something spectacular. I knew that beneath it’s old and broken exterior their lay a simple treasure, possibly something even better than it had been originally intended. Somewhere I lost that along the way, I feel like I have found a bit of that part of myself again. I appreciate my parents teaching me this valuable lesson. This knowledge of where beauty truly lies (hidden gently beneath the surface) is something they instilled in my sister and I. Not just in their approach to the tangible, but also in the way they taught us to look at people.

I have began writing a letter every single day to our loan servicer, I am doing this out of desperation. Sometimes I wonder what I am trying to hold onto, and why I just can’t let it go. I realize now it is far more than just the money. In part it is my own way of trying to fight against these banks, the same way I try to advocate for my patients. We are dealing with an injustice, what are we if we all just roll over and play dead?  This home is in many ways like any other thing we create together as a family. It was torn apart when we bought it, and yet we saw all it’s potential beauty, we still do. In many ways it is a part of our family, it is where so many wonderful things have happened. It is our community, our neighbors, our friends. As someone who commutes so far to work, it is one of the only things that makes me feel like I have a place here, that I belong. Maybe in a sense I am afraid to loose this, because if I do I will have no more sense of place, I will have no more sense of home, and this is scary.