My sister and I talked on the phone for a while tonight. It is always good hearing her voice. She has so often been a voice of reason in my life, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life. I can say this without any hesitation: that of all the people in the world she is probably one of the most kind and pure of spirit people I know. She is beautiful through and through. She loves everyone unconditionally, never would judge anyone. She laughs and smiles because she sees the beauty in the world and in the gifts that people have to share with the each other and in the lessons they can teach those around them. She exudes this. And because of this people are drawn to her weather she sees this or not. I think it is interesting that people of such beauty often hate themselves when they look in the mirror. I wonder if it because they see the world in such a beautiful light that when it comes time to reflect on oneself the image merely pails in the minds comparison. I find this is most often the rule and not the exception. I don’t know why I am writing about this in my blog, but when I start to think of my deep, deep love for my sister it is also in a bit of sadness that I sometimes think that she may not feel this for herself. Of course this is a trait we probably both share, and maybe it is something about this that fuels my sadness. Anyway I didn’t mean to get to serious; I just wanted to point out that I have the best sister in the world. I am not sure if I have ever said that before in my blog.
The thing is she asked me to write something in my blog this week about Life. I am not really sure what it was, probably some continuation of my philosophical ranting and ravings about the “true” meaning of life. This is usually a brief and momentary fleeting of thought from me as it usually comes as an epiphany and usually is brief. It feels good though while it lasts. Life can only be celebrated when we have faith in living. When we have faith in dying, and trust everything in between. It is in my moments of greatest faith that I can see the beauty that exists around me. It is in doubt that we fail to truly live life. And we must confront this doubt every day. We live in a modern world surrounded by alarm clocks, deadlines, commutes, traffic, and most of all NOISE. We do not offer ourselves up for self reflection. We live in constant fear of the unknown as if the unknown poses greater risk of disaster than our current known and often poor quality of life. What are we all afraid of? What risks do we truly have??? It is late and I cannot answer these questions. This is all coming out after a combination of my sister and my talk regarding their upcoming life change and a rather moving episode of ER. Also this comes at a time where I struggle with these questions in my own life. Is life truly being lived if we continue to work and live by the rules of a 9-5 world? We survive within boundaries. We struggle to find the meaning of success. We continue to create problems if not only to work on finding solutions. And every now and then we should just eliminate all the noise. Life is not nearly as complex as it seems. The answer is right in front of our faces. We just need the faith as when we were little children. Smile, stand on our own two feet and take our first step……. the freedom of the unknown is only scary when we take too much time to become concerned about running!!!