Everyday, I wake up and think to myself, it is OK, you are wasting your time worrying, life is one day at a time, you are so lucky to have your health, and your family, and etc. etc. etc…. But as I watch the news and listen to people around me I can not help but think, and lament on this home in which I write this blog. In many way’s it has become a noose around my neck, I want to feel the joy that home is where your heart is, instead often, I feel as though it is a weight which is sinking me down to the depths of the oceans. Of course this is only imaginary, and is based on something called market value. Who ever new this thing called market value could also place a value so strict on my ability to be free. Freedom I think is the ability to move everywhere, let the wind blow through your hair, and know that no matter what happens in life you have your freedom and your ability to always make a better life for yourself. I can see being 15k in debt on your house, it is when you become 200,000 dollars in debt that your freedom is stripped away. For the average person (that being me) this means that your ability to just get up and go in times of crisis, or changes in life’s, or to just be what you want to be (a changing and fluid thing) becomes stifled. It is when people feel trapped that life looses a bit of it’s joy. I often feel as though this house now owns me, and in many ways it does. Weather I am am happy now at the moment becomes of little concern, since I have lost a bit of my freedom. I do not blame anyone, although part of me blames the government for artificially inflating the world around us. Of course anyone allowing this too happen would have known the truth, although I guess they were all too busy raking in the millions, they will not have lost their freedoms. Again it falls to the middle class. There is no way out of this. At least one that allows me to reset my life. And at many times I wish I could go back and press the reset button on the decision to buy this house. For now I am trying daily to loosen the noose, and as each front page paper makes it tighter I find it harder to breathe.
The game of life
Obama has nothing to say that will make it easier for people like me. Although he is helping my neighbor who will now only owe 3/4 of the price on their home… and they will get their freedoms back.. good to those who are irresponsible. But who am I too lament.
Maybe I can put the blinder over my eyes, maybe I can learn to live with this, or maybe I should just accept my losses and get out.. Kind of like a game of poker I guess. You have to know when you are loosing your hand, and you are about to go bust, if you get out at the right time, you could keep your shirt, otherwise… well who really knows???
OK Get hold of yourself. As I told you many times as a kid, “Whoever said life is fair?” Like F. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. (One of the first of the Four Noble Truths which Buddha taught was Life is suffering.) It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult–once we truly understand and accept it–then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”
Post this somewhere. Everything works itself out over time so be happy you are young and healthy and that the crisis will eventually pass. In the meantime you can live in Santa Cruz, raise your daughter, enjoy your marriage, and surf whenever the sea calls you. Of course you can come up here every now and then and look out on the wide open spaces and get a compeltely different view of life and the world.