Refer to the Seven Most Important Fathering Skills for previous blogs.

Unconditional love should have been in my list of seven most important fathering skills, but in life, new ideas (or old ideas in this case) come along and surprise us.  It was while watching my son and daughter-in-law working with their children (4 and 18 months) that I remembered how important this skill is.

Unconditional love is something children must know they have no matter how badly they behave.  I once had a friend who told me that after disciplining my children, I should make sure to find a time to give them a hug and an “I love you,” before they went to bed.  It was great advice and I give you the same.

But unconditional love goes beyond a hug and an “I love you.”  It means that no matter how much our children frustrate us, we never threaten them with the loss of our love if they don’t do as we say.  That’s the simple secret.  My mother used to quit talking to me when I did something wrong.  She continued not to talk to me even after I apologized.  This hurt me deeply.  It was her intention to hurt me and represented a withdrawal of her love.  It made for bad chemistry between us until the day she died.

I’ve made many mistakes in raising my own children, but children don’t mind our mistakes  if we are honest and let them know we love them no matter what.  So make your love unconditional.  You and your children will reap big rewards.