Today I experienced so many different emotions, I am struggling with the concept of attachment. Yes, the idea of letting go. I am realizing as I go through life that attachment to things is often one of my greatest obstacles. I am also realizing that one way to let go is to never “let in” in the first place.
My mom took me for a spin in her beautiful new car tonight, and as much as I loved the smell of the interior and all the new fancy gadgets I realized one very important thing. As I walked past my old clunker on the way into the house I realized that clunkers are utility vehicles, they take you from point A to point B. They might be loud, unreliable, and at times embarrassing, I am never afraid to park it on the street, I never have to worry about scratches or dings, and I never have to worry about it being stolen, in fact at times I have welcomed the idea. Simply having an old crappy car, although usually not as fancy, comes a sense of peace and a lack of worry (well as long as you have AAA).
And thus is life. The more we acquire, and the more we pay for these items the more our attention diverts to them. As the old adage says “where our money goes so does our attention”. I have found this to be very true in my life.
How do we overcome this? Are we supposed to avoid nice things, in order to avoid attachment and find true happiness?
I believe this is why it is often true that in life, money can never buy happiness, because we assume that money must buy objects of our affection, and objects incur new worries and new upkeep, they incur new choices and time spent analyzing these choices in fear that we may make a poor decision and then endure the pain of regret. It really is a vicious cycle.
“Where our money goes so does our attention” may be a way to live our lives. By placing our money into well intentioned endeavors that invest in people, we will find that we our buying one of the essential parts of happiness. When we invest in people we are bound to see huge dividends. This is often in sharp contrast to the present market conditions.
So, I write this as I begin a rather interesting transition in my life. We will be downsizing significantly over the next 9 months. Moving into a very small place, with few of the convenient modern amenities of my current home. But in many ways this is like moving from a Prius to a Pinto. It redirects the focus of our attention from the car’s fancy dash, and nifty new electronics, to the beauty of the view outside the window. And I have this funny feeling that the road of life is best driven with the windows down, eyes to the side, and our hearts open wide. Free to spend our money without the hassle of paying collision!
Stephen, keep in mind that there are no limits to the bounds of moderation. The extremes are not healthy. I agree that things are not as important as people, but good things and a comfortable life make it possible to do our best for others. It does not good to live the simple life if it doesn’t bring us joy or enable us to be better. Living in my home is much better than struggling in the 5th wheel, living with the heat and cold and the small space. I’m better for living comfortably but simply. On the other hand, I’d really like to have real power to supplement my solar. I’d like to have a garage to keep my car out of the snow and to give me a workshop. None of this is bad. It’s how we live our lives and how we love that’s most important of course. But living comfortably is essential to living a purpose filled life. It’s the retreat we go to after doing battle in the world. Don’t forget this.
I love my truck and I don’t worry about it. I’ve hit a deer and had it broken into, but that’s life. It would have hurt just as much is I was driving my old Camry as it did my new truck. I loved my old Camry so much that I wrote an ode to it. I loved it because you and Jennifer learned to drive stick in it and it took us camping, fishing, traveling and was a part of our lives for so many years. But I love my truck when it snows and when I head to the ski slopes. The damage has been fixed. Material things are only a problem if we allow them to be.
When I see these huge palaces that people call homes, I think that is a sign of frivolous values. A nice comfortable home, on the other hand, is a necessity to a person who gives their lives to others. My Venetian Bridges house was small, but we had good times there. It was a place to return and reflect and enjoy peace.